


My Name is Louis

by sammi273



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Enjoy!, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Mpreg Louis, No smut I'm sorry!, Sort of mysterious, larry stylinson - Freeform, mention of drugs, that's about it, uhhh..., very short story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-19
Updated: 2017-01-19
Packaged: 2018-09-18 15:06:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 4,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9390275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sammi273/pseuds/sammi273
Summary: My name is Louis.I'm two months pregnant with Harry's baby.Those are the only two things that I truly know.





	1. Day 1

"What's your name?" The man sitting across from me asked.

I situated my hands over my just barely showing baby bump before answering. "My name is Louis."

"What else do you know?" He asked, eyebrow raised.

My eyebrow also raised to match him, "can I answer with anything?"

He nodded, "yes, it's just a simple open ended question."

I cleared my throat and answered hesitantly, "I'm two months pregnant with Harry's baby."

"Very good, continue for me?"

"My husband's name is Harry, and he's away on a very long trip, so I can't see him for a very long time," I continued slowly, more confidently. "I'm gay, but I've only loved Harry. I miss Harry very much, and I want him to come back very soon."

"Very good, very good. Can you tell me how old you are?"

For awhile, I sat silently thinking, my fingers massaging away an incoming headache. "I... I can't remember right now."

"That's perfectly fine, don't worry."

I nodded hesitantly, then spoke to reassure myself. "okay, that's fine."

"Now tell me about Harry, how did you two meet?"

My eyes stared at the wall behind him instead of at him. "At the... at the X-Factor. We were both in the bathroom. I was... I was practicing there so that no one would hear me, but Harry was there the entire time. He reassured me that I had talent enough to make it through to the end."

"That sounds about right. Do you remember what happened after that?"

I bit my lip, "not much. Just that... that Harry and I were put into a group with three other boys."

"Can you remember who they are for me?"

I shook my head, answering sadly, "no, just Harry, just Harry and me. I miss Harry very much. I really do."

***

(Niall's p.o.v.)

Zayn, Liam, and I all watched sadly as Louis sat on his bed, staring at his blank mobile screen, waiting for Harry to call him. Every once in a while, he would place a hand on his flat stomach, rubbing the skin there gently, then mumble a few words.

There were footsteps behind us, then the man that was talking to Louis earlier placed a light hand on my shoulder.

"You're his eleventh you know. I really hope that you can help him remember," I sighed tiredly.

"Well that is my goal after all. He doesn't remember any of you, so I'll slowly introduce you guys once he's ready for it. Then we'll work from there."

We all nodded, and I entwined Zayn's fingers with mine.

"I can't promise that everything will be okay after he does know, but it's better for him to know than to not know."

Sniffling, I wiped away a tear that managed to fall. Zayn tightened his grip on my hand, gently swiping his thumb against the back of my hand. We didn't speak another word.

Deep down, I knew that everything wouldn't be okay.

AN: This is going to be interesting!

There will be slow updates since I don't really have anything planned out, but how do you like so far?


	2. Day 2

(Louis' p.o.v.)

"Well hello again Louis. How was your night?" The same man asked me the next day.

"I was up all night waiting for Harry to call me... he never called me though, so I ended up texting him."

"And what exactly did you text him?"

"That I love and miss him, and so does the baby." I shrugged, "just the usual."

"Does he ever answer back?"

I shook my head sadly, "I only dream that he does."

"I'm sorry about that. Maybe today he'll call, who knows. While we're on that topic, how about you tell me about Harry's job. If you don't mind, of course."

"Well..." I trailed off, thinking hard before speaking, "after the band broke up... Harry and I started living together, so Harry decided to get another job so that he'd have enough money to start a family with me. He got more into business-y, and technical stuff that I never really understood. Quite often, Harry had to go away. Sometimes he'd take me, other times not. It's ironic actually, because the reason he even got that job was to start a family." I sniffled, feeling tears come to my eyes.

He handed me a tissue, and I used it to blow my nose. Once I was finished, and took a few deep breaths, I composed myself, placing a hand on my stomach. "Well when I told him that I'm pregnant, he argued with me and said that he was way too busy to even think about having a baby with me."

"I'm sorry that you had to go through all that. I'm sure that when he's ready, he will own up to that responsibility."

"If he really loves me, then I know that he will, but it's the not knowing that bothers me. And I'm not even sure if he's ready to take on a family, but with this situation he needs to make a decision."

He nodded his understanding, "what kind of decision do you think that he has to make?"

For a couple minutes I thought, mulling carefully over the answer that I was about to give, "it's a simple fight or flight response for us, our love, and more importantly our family."

***

I sat alone at the lunch table that I always sit at. In my right hand is my phone, thumb hovering over the keypad, waiting for a call or text from Harry. In my left hand, I held a fork full of, now cold, eggs. I haven't been too keen on eggs, but I eat them from time to time anyways just to humor them.

Maybe if I do, then they'll let me go home.

When my mobile screen remained blank, I set down the fork, and tucked a stray stand of hair behind my ear, just as Harry used to do.

Lightly, I placed my free hand over my stomach.

"Don't worry Love, he'll be back soon."

***

(Niall's p.o.v.)

I was the last to stay behind, watching Louis with tearful eyes through the glass. Once again, the same man approached me, lightly tapping my shoulder.

"Tomorrow I'm going to try and talk to him about you to see if he will remember anything. I'll call you during lunch if he's ready to meet you."

"Okay," I nodded my understanding.

AN: So what do ya'll think happened to Louis and Harry?


	3. Day 3

(Louis' p.o.v.)

"Hello Louis, how are you feeling today?" The man asked me.

"Okay. I feel different today," I answered quietly.

"Different? How so?" He asked, seeming hopeful, eyeing my hands which were in my lap today.

"I'm not sure. It's just that... I'm not sad today because I feel that I should be feeling something else, something that's more..." I trailed off and shook my head. "Never mind. It's stupid anyways." I decided to smile slightly instead.

"How would you describe your relationship with Harry Styles?" He asked me, as if he hasn't asked multiple times before.

"We were engaged. Most of the time we were happy," I answered.

"And did his job get in the way of your relationship?" He asked, watching me closely.

"Sometimes but not a lot," I answered, wanting to change the subject. "Can we talk about something else please?"

"Of course we can. Do you remember the day before? We talked about you and Harry Styles being in a band with three other lads. Do you remember this?"

I pursed my lips as I faintly remembered something of the sort.

"Would you like to talk about them instead; those three lads?" The man asked instead.

"Yes, I think that'll be a lot better." I nodded shortly, a lot more confident on this topic than the previous one.

"So what can you tell me about your band?"

"We had a lot of fun together," I grinned as I reminisced the long sleepless nights we'd spend goofing off, practicing, and doing random stuff.

"Can you remember any of their names?" He asked me, smiling along with me, though I don't think that it's for the same reason.

"Not really, I only remember that one started with an 'N' I think." I answered, thinking my hardest yet coming up with absolutely nothing.

"That's very good, actually," he nodded. "You've made progress today, Tomlinson.

I nodded, "does that mean that I get to see Harry soon?"

"It depends entirely on you and what you can remember," he answered.

I was quiet for a moment, really quiet. I knew that he was waiting for me to respond in some way, but I couldn't exactly find a response that was suitable enough. "I just really want to see Harry, I need to talk to him... I think that I might be pregnant."

He hummed, though he didn't seem very happy. "Congratulations Louis. How about we end this session for now so that you can celebrate some on your own."

When I smiled this time it was a big one that showed most of my teeth because I meant it. "Thank you."

***

When I sat at lunch today I happily ate the grilled cheese sandwich that they allowed me to have, though in my other hand I still held my cell phone awaiting Harry's call, even when I almost dropped my sandwich more than once.

***

(Niall's p.o.v.)

"How is he doing? Is he well enough?" I asked the man that had been talking to Louis earlier today.

"I'm sorry Niall, but he isn't well enough yet. His memories are starting to come through some, I could tell that much. He's starting to remember you, but he still thinks that he's pregnant. Only this time it was as if we went backwards in time instead of being stuck in one place."

"So when can I see him?" I asked, desperate to see my best friend.

"You can see him whenever you want to and you know that. You can interact with him when he really starts to remember you. Then you can talk with him. When that happens, you know what to do right?"

I only offered a nod in answer instead of using actual words as I felt a lump form in my throat.

I had been so ready to finally talk to him after so long, but I guess that I'll have to wait a tad bit longer for that to happen.

AN: So how do you guys like so far? Throw you for a bit of a curve ball?


	4. Day 4

(Louis' p.o.v.)

Instead of waiting for Harry to call me, this evening I stared at my glowing mobile with a new agenda.

Always, I had waited for him to call, yet not once did I even consider trying to call him myself.

How stupid of me.

With confidence, I went to Harry's contact and pressed the call button.

It rang five times then six before someone picked up.

"Hello-" the rest of my sentence was cut off by a horrifying sound.

It was Harry alright, I could just barely tell from the rasp in his low groaning. Besides that, it sounded like he was gurgling something.

"Harry!? Are you okay!? Harry!" I exclaimed loudly into the phone, making sure he could hear me clearly.

Finally, I was able to make out a few letter sounds that came together to form a word, "L.....ou....?" The last vowels were drawn out, as if he couldn't stop.

"Harry, where are you!?" I yelled hysterically, just now noticing the tears that were sliding down my cheeks. A choking and gasping sound on his part caused for my own sob.

Then I heard the most sickening thing ever.

My phone beeped.

It beeped in a way that alerted me of Harry hanging up.

"NO!" I screamed, throwing the device against the opposite wall.

Realizing my own stupidity, I quickly rushed over to the flip phone to find that it had managed to snap in half at the force.

How stupid was I to break the one thing that I could have contacted Harry with, the only thing that I could have saved him with.

***

(Niall's p.o.v.)

I sadly watched as Louis cried over the phone that had never been working in the first place.

An: And so the plot thickens! What do you think is happening?


	5. Day 5

(Louis' p.o.v.)

Preston Greene.

A name that keeps swirling in my head, a name that I remember but do not know why.

"You seem distracted today, Louis," the man spoke from his usual chair.

"I just... do you know someone named Preston Greene? I remember his name, but I just have nothing else to equate to the name I.... I think that he's important but I..." I trailed off when I was met with worried eyes, so I dropped it. "Nevermind..."

He hummed and scribbled something down in his notebook. "Okay, that's completely fine. He could've just been someone you went to school with our something like that."

I decided not to argue even though I felt that the name was of more importance than that.

***

(Niall's p.o.v.)

"How was he today?" I asked as I stared through the glass to see a finally sleeping Louis.

"Well, he remembered Mr. Greene today."

I quickly turned to throw the man a bewildered look, "and he's sound asleep?! How'd he take it? Is he more broken now?" By the last question, my eyes held sadness.

"Calm down Mr. Horan, he's okay. He literally only remembers the name, nothing else. He doesn't remember what happened or anything like that."

I sighed in somewhat relief, "okay then, I'll take your word for it. Let him remember things in his own and just... just be careful with him. His mind is already broken." I returned to looking through the window to see that Louis had turned over to face us, though he remained asleep.

"I will do as you ask then." The man nodded.


	6. Day 6

(Louis p.o.v.)

"So do you have anything you want to talk about today, Louis?"

I frowned, "I don't like only talking about me and stupid things that I can't remember. Why don't I ask you a few questions."

"Well what would you like to know?"

"Your name for one."

"The name my mother gave to me at birth was Justin Braison, but I changed it at eighteen to Braison Gray."

I hummed and absentmindedly placed a hand over top my stomach. A memory presented itself within my mind, a familiar face with blond hair and worried eyes turned to look at the man in front of my, Braison Gray, before turning back to look at me. There was a bittersweet smile then he waved and then the memory was gone.

"I was put here by a blond haired guy, who was he?"

Gray sighed, "I wanted you to remember yourself, but since you asked so nicely, he's your bandmate Niall Horan."

"What happened to Harry?"

"I'm sorry Louis, but that's something you need to remember on your own. I think that's enougj questions from you."

"No wait! Just... just one more thing... can I... can I see Niall?" I quietly asked, though I started out as a yell.

"Of course, you may even get to see him tomorrow with how well your progressing."

"Thank you," for once I felt that I was getting somewhere close to finding out where Harry is.

***

(Niall's p.o.v)

"How was he today?" I asked tiredly. I've been having to pick up a lot of extra shifts recently, so all I've been doing is working.

"I told him about you," he said with a straight face.

"And!?" I exploded.

"He wants to see you," his face broke into a smile.

"When can I meet with him?"

"Tomorrow actually."


	7. Day 7

(Niall's p.o.v.)

"Yeah, I'm not going to work today, I have some family issues to take care of." I spoke into my phone.

"Okay, do you need any other days off or just today?"

"Just today for now, I'll call again if I need any other days off." I informed my boss.

"Okay, I hope that everything goes okay Niall," my boss said sympathetically.

"Thanks, so do I Sir." I hung up. Exhaling shakily, I removed my car keys from the ignition and mentally prepared myself for whatever I may potentially face.

***

"Hi Louis, I'm Niall," I introduced myself, not sure if he'd remember me. After all, a lot can change over night.

Louis' face that was once blank immediately lit up, "hi Niall, I remember how you look but... I just couldn't remember your name."

"How are you doing in here?"

"I really miss Harry, do you know where he is? Have you heard from him? I think I'm pregnant and I really need to talk to him."

My heart clenched and my stomach turned uncomfortably within its confines. All I could feel was the heavy sadness that consumed my very being. When I realized that I had to still give an answer, I cleared my throat.

"No I havem't heard from him and I thought that you were the one who would know where he is. I promise that I will help you find him."

'He's only lost in your memories, why can't you find him so easily?' I wanted to say, but decided against it when I saw Louis' beaming face.

***

"That was the happiest I've ever seen him," Braison spoke to me at the end of the day.

Louis and I talked for hours and he was just fine, just tired from 'the baby' he made the excuse.

"Yeah... happiest I've been since all this happened if m'honest."

"Before the ten others, you said he was staying at his and Harry's house right?"

"Yeah," I nodded.

"How would you feel if I recommended that Louis stayed with you and Zayn?"

"Are you sure that's best for him?"

"Yes, I think it's better for him to be surrounded by friends who could help him healthily remember everything rather than having it being extracted from him by a complete stranger."

"Okay, when do you think he'll be ready to go?" I asked, barely containing my excitement.

"Tomorrow, actually." He smiled.

"Always tomorrow with you," I chuckled, however I found that I didn't really mind.


	8. Day 8

(Louis' p.o.v)

I carried my half full bag of stuff out of my room with Braison watching my every move.

"So you're sure you're ready for this?" He asked warmly.

"Absolutely," I nodded. "I want to remember."

"Okay," he said simply.

That's all it took for me to be out of the building and into Niall's beaten down car.

"I'd think that a member of One Direction would have a better car," I brought up while we were on the highway.

"Ex-member. The band broke up, remember?" Niall frowned and turned briefly to look at me.

"Oh... that's right... Zayn wanted to go solo and you wanted to go with him, but Liam didn't want to sing without Zayn or you and Harry and I wanted to take a break because of our wedding.... am I right?"

"Completely," Niall nodded.

"I remember that conversation," I smiled though it was laced with bitterness.

"See this is already helping you remember stuff," Niall smiled.

"Yeah... oh Niall by the way, I am pregnant, two months pregnant in fact." I smiled so widely that my cheeks hurt.

That was all it took for my own smile to abruptly make its exit.

***

"So Lou, this is your room, you're open to use whatever you want, including the kitchen and bathroom. Unfortunately, I have to work today, but we can hang out tomorrow, I promise. Zayn is out at work, but should be back by noon. Okay?"

I nodded my understanding, "okay."

"I'm going to go now, but if you need anything just call the number by the phone. Oh and when Zayn comes home, make sure you tell him to get the mail."

"Of course."

***

I spent a good few hours walking around Niall and Zayn's apartment just looking as various items and pictures.

Surprisingly, there were none of Harry and I. Frowning, I walked over to their phone, ready to call and ask, however their calender caught my eye.

Low and behold, there was a picture of Harry and I just smiling and hugging each other. I frowned when I noticed the slight buldge in my stomach.

Just then the front door opened and Zayn walked in, eyes red and watery as if tired or super high.

"Hey Lou, glad you're back on your feet." He smiled widely, showing his teeth even.

"Thanks Zayn, can you go get the mail?" I froze as those very same last six words echoed in my head. "No wait!" I yelled frantically.

I looked back at the picture then at my own stomach and I froze. They're the same size and shape but this is the only time I've been pregnant. "What?" I whimpered lowly. "No!"

Smiles no longer on his face, Zayn walked over to me, "okay, that's fine Louis, I'll stay here."

"I.... I shouldn't have, I-I sh-shouldn't have... have.... Oh my God, HARRY!" I screamed and ripped the paper up.

"Shit," Zayn cursed and pulled out his phone, probably calling Niall.

But I didn't stop my screaming, or my crying, or my hyperventilating, or my violent actions because I remembered EVERYTHING.


	9. Day 9

(Louis' p.o.v)

I saw Harry and I happily in our car. It's a brand new SUV in preparation for our child. There were moments like these that Harry forgot that he hated or baby and I forgot that I was supposed to be hating him for that.

Harry placed a large hand over my barely bulging baby bump. "A baby," he whispered almost in awe. I think it was mostly the alcohol talking. We were coming back from a New Years party and Harry didn't exactly very drunk, but he wasn't really sooner either.

I saw our late as ever mail truck drove away from our mailbox.

"Louis, what are you thinking about? Please tell me what you remember. It'll help with your sense of what's going on."

"We were coming back from Zayn's New Years party." I whispered, barely intelegible.

"Harry, can you go get the mail? I'll get our presents in." At the party there were people there whom we haven't seen in years so they gave presents to Harty and I that were moreso for the baby.

"I asked him to get the mail," I whispered even quieter than previous.

When I got to the front door, I heard a screeching sound and turned to see a truck swerving ridiculously. However, when I looked over my shoulder, I saw Harry just opening the mailbox. 

I screamed, and went to ruin to Harry as I dropped the presents there, but I was running in slow motion as the car sped up and with purpose crashed itself into the mailbox, then Harry in the process.

"NO!" I screamed and seemed to get out of my time warp, runming my fastest to Harry, whom was on the asphalt, rapidly bleeding out his life through his mouth and chest fron where the mailbox had pierced him.

"Harry," I whimpered, kneeling by his head and leaned over him.

His unfocused eyes placed themselves on my face, "L.....ou....?" His unfocused eyes faded as the life left his body.

That was when I realized that Harry want the only one bleeding.

A drunk man stumbled from out of the driver's seat, nearly falling over. Tears were in his eyes, "m'so soooorrryyy." He sobbed, "m'Preston Greeeeene n'm'sooooo sooorryyyy." A long drawn out stream of sobs left his wet lips.

I screamed from both the intense pain in my stomach and in my heart. In that moment I knew that Harry want the only one who died.

"I lost them both-" I mouthed out before breaking off into sobs.

***

(Niall's p.o.v)

"Oh my goodness, is he okay?" I asked, sniffling add I wiped ah my own tears.

Braison smiled, "better than okay, he remembers everything. He's just sad right now because he hasn't had the proper chance to mourn. Other than that, he finally had a clear head."

I sighed in relief, "do how long does he have to stay here?"

"Not much longer, he can leave tomorrow. I've done my job, he remembers and now he needs to heal, which is something you're going to help him with."

"Oh thank God, I knew that you were different from all those other shrinks. I cannot thank you enough, Doctor Gray."

"It was nothing at all, I was just doing my job, kiddo," he smiled so his eyes crinkled.


	10. Day 10

(Louis' p.o.v)

My name is Louis and his was Harry.

We almost had a child together, we were going to have a family.

Now there's just me left and though Niall tries to help me, he can't give me back my family taken away by a drunk driver.

I've been out of the mental institute for ten whole days.

I'm living with Niall and Zayn now.

Turns out, Niall has been the only one working in the household since the band split.

Whenever Zayn went to 'work' he was shooting up heroin with whatever buddies he thought he had.

So, poor Niall was stuck working endless shifts to pay off my doctor bills, and give Zayn drug money, and pay the bills, and my doctor bills, and Harry's funeral bills.

The moment the boys thought I was 'unwell' they brought me to a shrink.

To repay Niall, I paid all my doctor bills, and therapist bills, and specialist bills and such. I told him about Zayn's drug use and Niall immediately broke up with him.

Zayn kicked him and I out, so Niall and I stayed at my house.

Liam had started coming by and we dabble in writing songs, but that wasn't the center of our meetings. We mostly judt caught up and hung out just like the good old days.

We talked about life and Harry and family.

It took Zayn a couple days, but he joined our little meet ups.

I realized, being surrounded by friends, that I was okay, because they are my family.

I know that they will always be my family when I really need them to be.

I knew that I'll be okay because I'm surrounded by my family, my brothers.

AN: So, comments and thoughts now that it's over? Any questions? I'll answer them! Thanks for reading!


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